You should ask Sue out”, said one of the girls in the office, “She seems to have taken a real shine to you.” I wouldn’t normally have the confidence to go up to a woman and, out of the blue, ask her out, but I now felt very encouraged.
Sue was a bit older than me, she wasn’t the prettiest girl in the office but she made up for it by being somewhat ‘larger than life’. I plucked up the courage and asked her out to dinner. She accepted and we agreed to go out together that Friday.
I wasn’t sure how quickly the relationship would develop so I decided to buy a pack of condoms in case things went really well straight away.
The first date went well but when I took her home, she didn’t invite me in. We kissed goodnight and agreed to see each other again. On the drive home I felt satisfied that things had gone well and the relationship was developing. I now had a girlfriend! I hadn’t really expected to ‘go all the way’ on our first date anyway but I was hopeful this would happen on our second.
On our second date Sue opened up more and talked about her ex-boyfriend. I tried to sympathise as much as I could, agreeing with all the negative judgements she made. I tried to make her feel totally justified in everything she said (in the hope that she’d be more accepting of me). I was also glad of the pointers as to what mistakes not to make. “He wouldn’t stop touching himself”, she said, “He was such a wanker”. Then she added, “We even bought one of those things to prevent that. It was his idea but then he changed his mind and wouldn’t wear it. I was so disappointed”.
That sounded intriguing. “What was it like, this thing?” I asked.
“It was metal with a little padlock”, she said, and then added; “You can see it if you like”.
“I’d love to” I replied. At least now she’d have to invite me in.
When I took her home that night, as expected she invited me in and led me to the bedroom. ‘This could be it’ I thought, I checked my pocket to make sure I had my wallet with me because I’d put a condom inside it. She showed me the device. It was a steel wire cage, a ring and a small padlock. I’d seen pictures of such things on the internet but I’d never seen one for real.
“You can try it on if you like”, she said, “Don’t worry; I’ve cleaned it thoroughly since he had it”.
“Yes, OK”, I said while continuing to study it.
“Well, take your trousers off then”, she said abruptly.
So there I was, in her bedroom and she’d asked me to take my trousers off! ‘It won’t be long now before we’re having sex’, I thought.
“I think you’d better shave those pubic hairs first”, she said, “You’ll have a bit of difficulty otherwise. I’ve got a razor you can use. Come into the bathroom”.
Trouser-less and feeling very nervous, I followed her to the bathroom. She gave me a pink razor and some shaving mousse. “I’ll leave you to it” she said, and as she left, added, “Would you like some coffee?”
After shaving, she watched me fumble with the device to get it on. “And now for the lock”, she announced. “You can’t try it on properly without the lock”. There was a little click. “Now put your trousers back on and see how that feels”.
We drank the coffee. “If we’re going to go out together”, she said, “I’d really like to know if you can wear that thing. I don’t want to get involved with another pathetic wanker. You don’t mind keeping it on for a while do you?” After the way I’d agreed with her about her ex, I couldn’t say no. It would only be for a few days anyway.
We kissed our goodnights and I started the long drive home. I found myself looking forward to arriving, going into the bathroom and spending a long time slowly masturbating while thinking of the evenings events (just as I’d done the previous week). I started to get an erection but it felt strange. It dawned on me that the thing between my legs wasn’t going to allow me any self pleasuring. What had I let myself in for? I was actually driving away from the key that would unlock the device! I slowed down. Should I turn back? But then what? Confess to Sue that what I really wanted was to masturbate? She may unlock the device but I doubted whether I’d be seeing her again. It was Friday and I’d be seeing her at work on Monday anyway so I was sure I could manage a few days of abstinence. Besides, the lock was only thin and I could easily break it off with bolt croppers if I got really desperate. Part of me got a thrill from the thought of having my sex controlled in this way. Perhaps this would be an exquisitely enjoyable experience after all. I decided to continue.
When I arrived home I sat on the toilet and inspected myself. I held the lock in my hand and gave it a tug. It wasn’t coming off. ‘If I didn’t have this thing locked onto me’ I thought, ‘I’d be tugging on my penis now. I’d be feeling the intense pleasure of sexual stimulation. But because of this, there isn’t going to be any pleasuring tonight. There’ll be none tomorrow either or the day after.
Monday came and to my relief Sue was at work. As I went to her, I was hoping she’d have the key with her and would hand it over immediately. Then I could spend a few minutes in the toilets, relieving my frustration.
“Everything alright?” she asked, “Are you getting on OK?”
I said that I was fine and there was no problem.
“See you on Friday then” she said brightly and turned away.
‘Well’, I thought, ‘it would only be a few more days until I’ll be having sex with Sue’. As the days passed I thought, ‘I haven’t gone this long without wanking since I started doing it in my early teens’. I found that I constantly wanted to do it now. I’d always relieved this desire before, but with this device, that couldn’t happen so I just stayed frustrated.
Friday came eventually. We went out to dinner as before. “I’ve been dying to ask you how you’ve got on with it” said Sue. “Has it been physically alright? Not too uncomfortable I hope?” I told her that it had been OK. “And how has it affected you sexually?” she tentatively asked and then added, “I know all men pleasure themselves; unless there’s something wrong with them of course. There’s nothing wrong with you I hope”. She insisted that I was totally honest with her as she couldn’t bear deception in a relationship. I told her that I’d been unable to do it since having the device and that it had been frustrating. Then she wanted to know all about how often I used to do it, where and when I did it and what I fantasized about. I didn’t know what best to say, what if I said the wrong things? I’d never spoken to anyone about this issue before, it’s a totally taboo subject amongst men. I didn’t want her to think I was inadequate so I had to say something. I didn’t want to lie because she’d probably see through it and think me dishonest (I didn’t know what to make up anyway). So I tried to be as honest as I could. She reeled off a list of things she thought I might be interested in to which I answered ‘no’ or ‘sometimes’. She seemed surprised to discover that I didn’t fantasize about being with women. I said that I liked the idea of bondage (I was sure I was on safe ground here since she’d given me this device). It seemed to go OK although she had look a bit doubtful at times.
“Well” she said in a stern voice, “I don’t want you to be doing it on your own again. And I want you to wear the device to make sure that you don’t.” and then added brightly, “Is that OK?” I said that it was. I didn’t think I’d have much desire to masturbate anyway, once we’d started to have regular sex.
Sue then asked me about my previous girlfriends. I told her about the two girlfriends that I’d had, how we’d met, how we’d reached the ‘kissing and cuddling’ stage and how, on each occasion this had been followed by the ‘I don’t think we should see each other anymore’ stage.
“So you haven’t actually had sex yet” she said, to which I had to agree. “I suspected you were a virgin but I didn’t know for sure. You needn’t look so embarrassed. There’s nothing wrong with virginity. I think it’s nice, I wish I still had mine.”
We went back to her place but to my surprise she didn’t invite me in. She said that she was tired and we should kiss goodnight outside.
Driving home, I took stock. I hadn’t had sex. I was still locked in the chastity device and I’d agreed to keep it on. My girlfriend was now the only person in the world that knew that I was a virgin and knew about my sexual fantasies. I no longer had any secrets. I felt vulnerable. None of this sounded good but still, I’d probably gained her trust. So next week should be the big one.
Sue told me that on the following Friday she was going out with the girls and wouldn’t be able to see me again until the following week.
I thought little of it until the next Monday when one of the girls from the office walked past me at work with a big grin on her face and, under her breath, said, “Hello cherry boy”. Sue had told them. She’d probably told them all about me. I decided to put a brave face on it can carry on as if nothing had happened.
“Well you didn’t say it was a secret” Sue protested when I cornered her. “Besides, there’s nothing to be ashamed of anyway”. I suspected she was right on both counts so I asked her not to tell anyone else and let the matter lie.
When Friday came, Sue seemed somewhat concerned. She said that she’d read about the chastity device I had. Apparently some men had managed to slip their members out of it to masturbate. It wasn’t as secure as she thought. “I know you don’t want to cheat on me” she said, “but I don’t want to doubt you all the time. I think you should have a better device”. She offered to pay for it and said that I’d need a piercing to make it secure. “I’d be so appreciative if you agreed”. When I continued to look doubtful, she added, “I don’t think you’d be able to wear a chastity device for a while after the piercing, until it heals properly”. The prospect of being out of this device for a while was the deciding factor so I agreed to have it done. I didn’t think it was such a big deal anyway.
Sue arranged for someone to come to her place to do the piercing. When it was done, I had a ring that went into the end of my penis and out through a hole in its underside. “You know” said Sue, as she inspected it, “I think your little cage will fit over this”. And she made me put the chastity device back on. Over the next couple of weeks I had to put fluid on the ring to stop it sticking which was a little awkward with the cage.
A couple of weeks later, instead of going out as usual, Sue invited me in straight away. ‘This is it’ I thought, ‘when I drive home tonight, I’ll no longer be a virgin’.
“Your new device has arrived” she said. “Let’s see if it fits”. It did. “That’s such a relief” she said, visibly relaxing. “Now I can be sure that you won’t be having any sex outside my consent”. She smiled with a twinkle in her eye as if to say that it won’t be long now. She stood very close to me and held the device firmly in her hand, my penis inside. “Now your sex is under my complete control” she said softly. And then in a ‘matter of fact’ way added, “That is what we both want isn’t it?” I had to agree. “This makes me feel so hot” she said. “You say the wards. Repeat after me: ‘I want you to control my sex'” I did as she asked, repeating the statement several times while watching her respond as if feeling intense pleasure. “Now say: ‘I never want to have any sex that you don’t want me to have'”. And again I repeated the statement several times.
When I arrived home I inspected the new device. It was far more substantial than the old one. The ring was much thicker, the lock was integrated into the device, and the part for my penis was a tube with slots which had a fitting that went through my piercing so there’d be no ‘pulling out’. ‘Bolt croppers won’t touch this’, I thought. ‘But what would?’ I found details of the device on the internet. ‘High Security Chastity Device’ it said. I read that the lock had been designed to resist picking, even by locksmiths and the steel had been hardened to resist hack-saws and other cutting tools. I’d accepted the old device because I knew that if I really wanted to, I could easily remove it (at the cost of my relationship with Sue). But the situation was now completely different. I was now locked into a device that I simply could not remove no matter how I tried. A flash of panic crossed my mind. ‘I can’t take this off’ I thought. My sex was now truly under her control. There was a thrill of excitement too.
I resigned myself to the fact that it wasn’t coming off without the key. And Sue was the only one who’d decide when that would happen.
“I think it would be really nice if you stayed a virgin until your wedding day” said Sue, casually next time we met. “I wish I had. What do you think?”
What could I say? If I agreed, there’d definitely be no sex with Sue anytime soon. But I couldn’t disagree. ‘Perhaps she’s dropping a hint’ I thought.
“Will you marry me?” I said, eventually. Sue was taken aback. Eventually she said that she’d think about it.
Sue didn’t want to go out with me the following week, she said she had too much on her mind and needed some ‘space’. Then at work she came to me and said that she was going to send me an e-mail that evening.
I was expecting her to say ‘Yes’. We’d have a wedding, I’d move in with her and we’d have sex every night. Things were looking up.
That evening I received the message, which read:
‘Dear Cherry Boy,
I think it would be best if we didn’t see each other anymore. I no longer look forward to spending time with you, I don’t want to have sex with you, and I certainly don’t want to marry you. Lately, I’ve come to realise just how much of a pathetic loser you are. All you seem to want in life is sex. Even when I took yours away, you didn’t change.’
This was like a hammer blow. It was over. I no longer had a girlfriend. And she was right about me just wanting sex. Perhaps I was a pathetic loser after all. But at least I’d be out of this chastity device and be able to masturbate again and I was sure I’d find someone else so it wasn’t all bad. I carried on reading.
‘I’ve discussed it with my colleagues and we all strongly believe that it would be best for everyone if you didn’t have any more girlfriends. So, to make absolutely sure that you don’t have any, I’ve decided NOT to unlock you from your chastity device.’
What! How could this be? I read the paragraph again. I just couldn’t believe it. I felt devastated. This was my worst nightmare. And the rest of the message didn’t help.
‘This may come as something of a shock to you, so let me spell it out. You no longer have a girlfriend. You’re locked into a highly secure chastity device (from which I’m sure you now realise you can’t escape). You now have NO realistic prospect of EVER; being unlocked from that device, having another girlfriend, losing your virginity or masturbating.’
These were the four things I most desired. And now it was looking like I’d never have any of them!
‘If I were you, I’d just get used to the idea of being celibate because celibate what you are and celibate is how you’re going to stay. I hope that your, extremely secure and totally permanent celibate lifestyle works out for you, that you accept it and look for meaning to your life outside sex. If not, well, you’ll just have to keep working on it won’t you.
‘She can’t do this’ I thought. I decided to phone her. “Look” I said in a firm voice, “You can’t decide to finish with me and then not unlock me from this chastity device. That’s just not on.”
“I think it is ‘on'” she said, “It seems that I can do it and I think I have. And I don’t think you can do very much about it”.
“I could go to the police” I blurted.
“And what would you say to them? That your ex-girlfriend is refusing to unlock you from your chastity device? They’ll probably tell you that that isn’t an offence; after they’ve stopped laughing at you that is, and assuming of course that you haven’t already died of embarrassment. Even if they did decide to help, you’d have to go to court to get me to hand over the key. I’m sure the national press would be all over it. I can see the headlines now: ‘Male virgin seeks key to his chastity belt so he can masturbate’. You’d be famous; as a virgin wanker that is. That sounds like a good idea doesn’t it. Go on then, go to the police.”
She’d obviously thought about this option a lot more than I had.
“But it just isn’t right” I protested, “Especially if we’re not even seeing each other anymore”.
“Look”, insisted Sue, “just because we’re not seeing each other, doesn’t mean that I can’t control your sex. And I’m taking that responsibility very seriously. Don’t you remember saying: ‘I want you to control my sex’ and ‘I never want to have any sex that you don’t want me to have’? Well, from now on, I don’t want you to have any sex, so you won’t be having any. You just have to accept that. You haven’t had a problem with chastity so far, so I don’t see why you should have a problem with it now or in the future”.
I was stunned. I couldn’t disagree with any of that. She was right.
She went on, “I know you well enough to know that you’re totally unsuitable for a romantic relationship. Any relationship with you is certain to fail. And I think it’s very important to protect women from that kind of emotional pain and damage. And you could do with protecting in that way too. So I think I really have to keep you locked up. I’d be irresponsible and uncaring if I didn’t. It’s for everyone’s benefit, yours as well; I hope you can see that.
And don’t even think about masturbation. We all thought you’re fantasies were inappropriate and even disturbing so I certainly don’t want to encourage them in any way. I’m sure you’ll be far better off if you just didn’t touch yourself any more. And I know you won’t be touching yourself at all now because you can’t.”
What could I say to this? She’d obviously made up her mind. She had very strong feelings on the subject and some very good reasons too. And I had nothing.
I decided to do nothing and see what happened.
At work, Sue ignored me or treated me like a stranger. And apart from a few sly looks and sniggers everything was as it was before. The weeks passed, and then the months. Nothing happened.
I had to get out of the device somehow. But I daren’t use power tools on it in case it all went wrong. Then I had an idea. I’d buy an identical device. That way I could experiment all I wanted in safety and only when I was confident of success would I attempt the escape. I placed the order. It was expensive but I was sure it would be worth it. A few days later I received an e-mail saying my order had been rejected. Apparently, since I was a ‘registered user’ and not a ‘key-holder’ I was disqualified from purchasing anything from them. My plan had failed. Then I read the last line of the message: “Your key-holder has been informed of your communication with us”. My heart sank. Sue now knew about my plan.
I sat, cross-legged on my bed, naked apart from the steel on my penis. I looked at it. My last hope was gone. I’d thought long and hard about how to remove the device but I couldn’t think of anything I’d even dare try. ‘There’s no such thing as an un-pickable lock’ I thought, but I didn’t know the first thing about picking locks, or the details of the mechanism in this one so this lock was definitely un-pickable to me. ‘There’s no such thing as an un-breakable device’. But I didn’t have the necessary knowledge skills or equipment to do any effective cutting in a controlled enough way as to be in the least bit safe, so this device was totally un-breakable to me. As far as I was concerned, it was inescapable.
A few days later I received a message from Sue:
‘Dear Cherry Boy,
It seems that you haven’t accepted your new lifestyle at all, so to help you fully appreciate your permanent sexual disablement and celibacy, I think it would be good for you to recite, out loud, the following statements:
I’m a virgin and I want to stay a virgin.
I don’t want a girlfriend because it would be emotionally damaging for both of us.
I don’t want to masturbate because it encourages harmful fantasies.
I’m glad that I’ve been locked in chastity because it protects me from sexual temptations.
I love the feeling that being locked in chastity gives me.
I truly hope to stay locked in chastity all my life.
I want to thank my key-holder for keeping me locked up.
I want to ask my key-holder never to unlock me.
You should say them at least once a day, ideally while looking at yourself in a mirror, until you’re convinced that you really mean them.
Then to prove to yourself that you really do mean them, you can e-mail me with your thanks and request. I feel very confident that your thanks will be accepted and your request will be granted. I expect you’ll feel contented then, perhaps even happy because you’ll have what you want. Even if you did get it by learning to want what you have.